the opposite of goodness.
999, the flipped of 666.
the number of the local police station.
coincidence? sputnik spunned @11:11 PM
Friday, January 18, 2008
each day passes by unnoticeably. yet it feels like much more then 24 hours. they were all the same. the transaction btwn day 1 and day 2 is seamless. i can only rely on my clock to tell me which day it is. i no longer look forward to weekends. it's too far away to give it a thought. goin home, goin town, no longer have meaning. it would be the same if i just stay in my room every day, 7 days a week.
givin it some thought, it has only been 2wks since sch start. that immense emptyness as i look out of my room each day. my taste buds hv cease to work. eating was only a chore, an obligation. only coffee to wake my senses. to keep me marchin. sputnik spunned @8:17 PM
givin it some thought, it has only been 2wks since sch start. that immense emptyness as i look out of my room each day. my taste buds hv cease to work. eating was only a chore, an obligation. only coffee to wake my senses. to keep me marchin. sputnik spunned @8:17 PM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
2 weeks into the sch term and I'm already feeling stressed and dreading to go sch. oh boy. all that pressure to get at least a B for all subjects.
went joggin yest. 3 pathetic rounds round the track and I was out of wind. The blazing sun and the lack of stamina. Yes, it may be a good start, but I just don't feel good running at a pace and distance that is many many many times worse then when I was at peak. Seeing everybody else runnin farther and farther away, that sense of inferiority, despair.
i wish to start again, to push myself. it'll haunt me, no doubt. its presence is already lurking beneath the skin. i fear failure. i fear that by starting, it'll only cause more pain. motivated no more.
nostalgic ache.
i tried to write, but decided against it. things are better this way.
i slp too much sputnik spunned @7:01 AM
went joggin yest. 3 pathetic rounds round the track and I was out of wind. The blazing sun and the lack of stamina. Yes, it may be a good start, but I just don't feel good running at a pace and distance that is many many many times worse then when I was at peak. Seeing everybody else runnin farther and farther away, that sense of inferiority, despair.
i wish to start again, to push myself. it'll haunt me, no doubt. its presence is already lurking beneath the skin. i fear failure. i fear that by starting, it'll only cause more pain. motivated no more.
nostalgic ache.
i tried to write, but decided against it. things are better this way.
i slp too much sputnik spunned @7:01 AM
Thursday, January 03, 2008
to you:
2007's gone, so let's not dwell into the past. forget all the regrets and goals unmet. it's 2008 now, it's time get back on your feet again and be positive.
It's not going to be easy, but you've got to have faith in yourself. Believe that you can make it. Believe that you can make a difference.
Don't despair.
Have the discipline to do what is important. MSN, facebook, friendster etc, they are mere distractions that will only make you more glued to it. It's not that you can't use them, but you've got to know when to stop. Especially now you will be in hall, friends will ask you out for dinner, for supper, for games, you have to strike a balance.
Do not think that you have 4 hours less of travelling time means you can procrasinate more. That extra hours are meant for you to catch up with studies and sleep. You know you will get very tired especially when exams are near.
Have all the fun and excitement you can, as you would like to have. Just as you will concentrate on having fun, I hope you will do the same when u sit down at your desk to study. Concentrate, and not let your mind wander. You don't think of work when you are playing, or get distracted, hope you can exercise the same concept to your studies.
I guess all that I've said you already know.
Action speaks louder then words. sputnik spunned @7:13 PM
2007's gone, so let's not dwell into the past. forget all the regrets and goals unmet. it's 2008 now, it's time get back on your feet again and be positive.
It's not going to be easy, but you've got to have faith in yourself. Believe that you can make it. Believe that you can make a difference.
Don't despair.
Have the discipline to do what is important. MSN, facebook, friendster etc, they are mere distractions that will only make you more glued to it. It's not that you can't use them, but you've got to know when to stop. Especially now you will be in hall, friends will ask you out for dinner, for supper, for games, you have to strike a balance.
Do not think that you have 4 hours less of travelling time means you can procrasinate more. That extra hours are meant for you to catch up with studies and sleep. You know you will get very tired especially when exams are near.
Have all the fun and excitement you can, as you would like to have. Just as you will concentrate on having fun, I hope you will do the same when u sit down at your desk to study. Concentrate, and not let your mind wander. You don't think of work when you are playing, or get distracted, hope you can exercise the same concept to your studies.
I guess all that I've said you already know.
Action speaks louder then words. sputnik spunned @7:13 PM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
joyeux anniversaire...
god's bdae gift for me : 4 runs to the toilet. diarrhoea. i barely enjoyed my lunch cos my tummy was churnin as i ate. didn't had dinner n now i'm hungry n i'm wonderin if i can eat anything. grrr...
surprised by the gifts i've gotten. does the 21st bdae hv such significance and meaning such tat i'll receive those gifts?
why say "forever 21" and "sweet 17"? i'm sure i wasn't sweet when i was 17. at 17 i was still slpin in classes, thrashing the waters and stoning. still a geek then. definitely. w those classes and wavy hair.
now i'm 21, i'm supposed to be an adult. which was wat i wanted to be since young. to be able to make decisions w/o ur parents interfering. but i think i'm not ready. still as kiddish as ever. i wouldn't wanna grow up and act my age.
the world's evil. like hansel and gretel findin their candy house of doom, w the world being the witch.
i just wanna lie on the meadows and gaze at the fleeting clouds.
sniff the summer bloom and flirt with the butterflies.
run with the wind and swim along fishes.
goodbye bdae sputnik spunned @11:39 PM
god's bdae gift for me : 4 runs to the toilet. diarrhoea. i barely enjoyed my lunch cos my tummy was churnin as i ate. didn't had dinner n now i'm hungry n i'm wonderin if i can eat anything. grrr...
surprised by the gifts i've gotten. does the 21st bdae hv such significance and meaning such tat i'll receive those gifts?
why say "forever 21" and "sweet 17"? i'm sure i wasn't sweet when i was 17. at 17 i was still slpin in classes, thrashing the waters and stoning. still a geek then. definitely. w those classes and wavy hair.
now i'm 21, i'm supposed to be an adult. which was wat i wanted to be since young. to be able to make decisions w/o ur parents interfering. but i think i'm not ready. still as kiddish as ever. i wouldn't wanna grow up and act my age.
the world's evil. like hansel and gretel findin their candy house of doom, w the world being the witch.
i just wanna lie on the meadows and gaze at the fleeting clouds.
sniff the summer bloom and flirt with the butterflies.
run with the wind and swim along fishes.
goodbye bdae sputnik spunned @11:39 PM